Coming to Terms
by cfsilvermoon
Summary: This is a cupcake songfic. Song by Colin Raye


**Coming to Terms**

Disclaimer: I own no one all characters are owned by Janet Evanovich. Lyrics are Colin Raye

* * *

"Cupcake, what do you mean?" He asked.

"We have gone over this a thousand times, Joe. It is just not meant to be. I want to live my life one way, with or with out you. You can't seem to understand I like my job." I replied irritated. "I don't want marriage and you do. I want to keep going after FTA's and you want me to stop. Either you like me for me, or you can't have me."

"So what are we going to do? I know what we want from each other are two things, but they can work together."

"I'm walking out the door and going on my own way for the final time. Pizza and beer wont get me back this time. The only thing that will is your understanding that I change for no one." I turned to the door and as my hand was on the handle I hesitated because I felt his breath on my neck.

He was right behind me and he whispered, "we can work this out if you want to Cupcake. It really wouldn't be too hard."

I turned the knob and walked out in to the humid night air with tears stinging my eyes.

_She said, "We're much too different._

_We're from two separate worlds."_

_And he admitted she was partly right._

_But in his heart's defense, he told her_

_what they had in common was strong enough to bond them for life._

_He said, "Look behind your own soul and the person that you'll see_

_just might remind you of me._

He sat slumped on the couch with cans, empty chip bags, and cigarette pack lying all around him. It looked as if he hadn't move in days. He really hadn't.

He would only get up to go to the bathroom and let Bob out. On his way he would pick up the phone to make sure that it was still in working order only to hear the buzz of the dial tone in his ear. The sound from the TV pounded in his head, but in reality it was barely turned up above a whisper.

He wanted to shake her until she realized that she couldn't live without him. His cupcake had done the only thing that could hurt him the most. Leave him and not give any thought to it, or so he thought.

_I laugh,_

_I love,_

_I hope,_

_I try._

_I hurt_

_I need,_

_I fear,_

_I cry._

_And I know you do the same things, too._

_So we're really not that different, me and you."_

"Babe, you sure you know what you are doing? I have heard this song and dance many times before."

"I know what I am doing this time, Ranger. I don't need him in my life if he is just going to change who I am. I couldn't like anyone that would do that let alone love them." I responded.

I had gone home to my one bed room apartment on the second floor and was staring at Rex, my hamster and room mate, running in his wheel when I heard the locks click open. I knew it was him because he never knocked and he didn't have a key, he was just there.

This particular he is Ranger. He is a sometimes lover, sometimes back up and always my bodyguard. Now mind you I don't mind him being all three, but I wish there was more to it. He is not like Joe in the least. He may not think that I am a good fit as a bounty hunter, but he has never told me I have to quit it to sleep with him.

Ranger knows that I am my own person free to do as I please. He doesn't say who I can be friends with or what I should do with my life. It is as simple as that. My choice is made. I would rather take the man who wants no relationship, but great sex, to a man who wants me to be someone that I am not. I would have to admit I have fantastic sex with them both.

_Now she could hardly argue with his pure and simple logic,_

_but logic never could convince a heart._

_She had always dreamed of loving someone more exotic,_

_and he just didn't seem to fit the part._

_So she searched for greener pastures, but never could forget_

_what he whispered when she left._

I was laying in bed thinking two weeks after I had taken my final walk from the house that Morelli had inherited. I knew when I did this it would be hard to do, but I could not stop myself from thinking of him. I kept having to catch myself from just driving by his place to see if he was home. I spent half of my free time at my apartment, the other half was at Rangers place on the 7th floor of Rangeman's headquarters.

This happened to be one of those nights that I was with Ranger.

"Babe, I know that the time that we spend together is special, but you need to think about you. I can't give you what you want besides freedom. I can only give you that because I don't want commitment at all. Your heart knows what you want and your brain will figure it out soon enough." He kissed the spot where the neck meets the shoulder and slid from the bed pulling on his pants.

"I know what you are saying, but I can't give up who I am either." I replied in a slight whisper. "I keep thinking that this is the right way for me to go, but my heart says different. He said that it wouldn't be too hard to work out, but I don't see another solution to the problem."

"Try talking to him, not fighting. I have some tracking to do. I think that it might be best if we only saw each other for business purposes until your mind is one hundred percent made up."

I sat bolt up right staring at him in the early morning light. He meant it too. I could tell just by his face. "I'll be gone by the time you are back. I'll give Tank the key card on my way out."

"Babe." Was all he said and was gone.

_I laugh,_

_I love,_

_I hope,_

_I try._

_I hurt_

_I need,_

_I fear,_

_I cry._

_And I know you do the same things, too._

_So we're really not that different, me and you."_

After Ranger left that morning I made sure that I took all of my things from his apartment and move back to my own. On the final sweep through of the bathroom I took a quick sniff of his body soap, put the lid on and walked out of the apartment after setting it back in its spot.

I was like a zombie going through the motions of catching the FTAs that Connie would assign for me. I really don't know how I did it, but I didn't get hurt too badly in the process.

I was hardly sleeping and making trips to the bakery almost every time I would pass by some thing that would remind me of Joe. Heck even going to the bakery reminded me of him.

It was hard to do, but I had to admit defeat.

_Was it time, or was it truth?_

_Maybe both led her back to his door._

_And as her tears fell at his feet,_

_she didn't say 'I love you,'_

_what she said meant even more..._

I was doing what I knew was what is to be. I had stopped and picked up the things that I would need. A Pino's pizza and a six pack. I didn't even have to knock. The door was open and he was there staring at me.

From the looks of him I had a better time in the fight earlier that day than he had being away from me. He stepped back to let me in the house and I set my burdens down on the table.

"Before you say anything I think I should talk first. I may not be the best of girlfriends or the perfect life partner, but I think that we really can work this out. I don't want to stop going after FTAs, but I am willing to only look for the smaller bond cases. The drunk and disorderly, the low ticket flights. That should take the risk off a lot. I will give up my apartment and move in here as a trial, but I am not agreeing to marriage yet." I let the last part out in a rush to get it said before I was too chicken.

"When I first hear a car rumbling down the road I thought it was my mind playing tricks on me. Then it stopped an I kept thinking that they got the wrong house. Figured that I would go to the door and tell whoever it was to get lost. Here you are saying pretty much what I wanted to hear and I don't know what to think.

"I know that I love you and would like to have you stop the bounty hunting all together, but if you are willing to work with me, I will work with you. I agree to the terms as long as you keep up your part I will try and over look the danger. I can't say I wont worry about you, but it means a lot to me." He walked up to me an kissed me deeply to seal the deal so to say.

_I laugh,_

_I love,_

_I hope,_

_I try._

_I hurt_

_I need,_

_I fear,_

_I cry._

_And I know you do the same things, too._

_So we're really not that different, me and you."_


End file.
